Volume Six, Chapter Three: Too Much Information

President Richard Milhous Nixon’s White House staff deliberately interfered with the Democratic primaries in 1972 to get the easiest opponent possible.

As a result, the lackluster George McGovern ended up with the DNC nomination, but lost to Nixon by, until 1984, the biggest Presidential landslide ever. And then Watergate erupted.

***

As I said in Starrcade 2016, the whole point of the media pushing the Orangeman was to give Hillary Clinton the easiest ride to the Oval Office as possible.

So the GOP Presidential Candidate got caught talking nasty in a 2005 video. And? His every word has been televised every 15 minutes for over 16 months. Where is the news in this?

The desperate, feigned “outrage” over her opponent’s latest (older?)antics shows that the attempt to choose an easy bet won’t work as well when the one betting is also sketchy.

We all know there’s an endless amount of coverage of the GOP candidate. The problem is that there’s also plenty on Clinton.

There is absolutely NO SUCH THING as an “uninformed/low-information voter” concerning the 2016 Presidential Election, not with constant coverage of one and 40+ years with the other.

Much like Nixon, Hillary Clinton enters her second run at the White House with a lot of baggage. An easy opponent will not overshadow that fact.

Hillary’s political career started with the very thing that ended Richard Nixon’s: Watergate. She served on an investigative committee handling the matter, beginning circa 1973/4.

For the last 40+ years, it seems like Hillary Rodham Clinton’ s career has been built on waiting for the other shoe to drop. What all is she off in, exactly?

She called young Black men “super-predators” who need to be brought to heel as First Lady of Arkansas and the U.S. She and Bill had some fishy Whitewater property deals.

She’s head of some foundation that takes money from rival and even terrorist-friendly nations. And then there’s this Benghazi and careless email business as Secretary of State…

I can even disregard her drinking from the “birther” wells in the 2008 campaign, and her routinely dead friends. The thing is, all this stuff has taken place before she even gets elected President!

It’s not a coincidence that an obscure Senator with a Negro dialect was able to defeat a former First Lady and Senator in the primaries. Voters didn’t know him that well. They knew Hillary all too well then. That’s why she’s not blasting her opponent out of the water now.

It took a lot of assassinations and social upheaval to get Richard Milhous Nixon into the Presidency. What will be Hillary Rodham Clinton’s cost?

And if the best line of defense for her is “At least she’s not HIM”… well, that says a lot about her supporters, who’d throw in with just about anybody under those auspices.

This is the first time since I was able to vote in 1994 that I have yet to find a compelling reason to vote for a major Presidential candidate.

 On the one hand, at least you know what you’re getting with the guy… for better or for worse, With her, you just don’t know, period.

Damn.

Volume Four, Chapter Six: The Squared Circle Orthogonean

The Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth in their greatest hour: WrestleMania IV. (Photo courtesy of WWE)

For years, the WWE Hall of Fame induction has been the chance for longtime wrestling fans to honor and possibly even meet the legends of the industry they grew up with. The key to receiving induction hinges on a wrestler’s relationship with WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. This has led to some notable exemptions and inclusions.

Chyna, the first female Intercontinental Champion, was fired from WWE in 2001, and went on to slam the company at the height of the Chris Benoit murder-suicide media blitz. Neither are often mentioned for Hall induction. Bruno Sammartino refused induction for years. Yet many people at odds with Vince have ended up inducted, often at fans’ behest.

Bret Hart, The Ultimate Warrior, Bruno, and even former business competitors like AWA promoter Vergne Gagne had major issues with WWE, but are all Hall of Famers. Abdullah the Butcher never even competed in WWE, but was enshrined nonetheless. And then there’s the case of one “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

David Shoemaker, a.k.a the Masked Man of deadspin.com, did an obituary of sorts for Savage just after his May 20, 2011 death. It’s also the source of the Hofstadter quote from last time. Shoemaker’s “Dead Wrestler of the Week” articles are written by a longtime fan of sports entertainment from a real-world view. The article piece pretty much sums up why people loved Savage.

He had the perfect woman (as of 1984, his real wife, Miss Elizabeth), and was jealous. He had the zany ring gear that still sells. He was believably brutal and agile in the ring. And that intensity in matches came through in spades when he was on the mic. The dream match between Savage and the Rock would be a hit if only for the promos between the two.

But there always seemed to be that underdog trait to Savage. He was the wrestling Orthogonean, the striving up-and-comer nipping at the heels at the elitist Franklin WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan. Much like the most famous Orthogonean, Richard Milhous Nixon, he would finally be the man, but he didn’t soundly beat the man, and was haunted by it.

Savage and Ricky Steamboat stole the show at WrestleMania III in their Intercontinental Championship Match. (Savage reportedly went over every single detail of it for days prior to the match.) Vince decided that Savage deserved a chance to be WWF Champion, and prepared him to replace Hogan, who was about to become a new dad.

Savage won the WWF Championship at WrestleMania IV after Hogan’s interference. He lost the belt to Hogan at WrestleMania V. Savage then replaced Elizabeth with Sensational Sherri Martel. He tried to establish himself without two key figures in his career, but it just never felt right. WrestleMania VII saw the Liz/Savage saga come full circle.

Minutes after a “retirement match” loss to the equally nutty Ultimate Warrior, Savage and Elizabeth reunited to tears and cheers from fans. The couple had a “wedding” at SummerSlam 1991, and Savage won a second WWF Championship, and defended his wife’s honor, from Ric Flair at WrestleMania VIII. Liz divorced him the same year.

In 1994, he up and left the WWF to join Hogan in WCW, where he got to play a sidekick- again. He even got to reunite with Elizabeth for a spell. Only when he signed with the upstart TNA did Savage, with his career nearly over, truly fly solo. His final televised match at TNA’s Destination Point event in December 2004.

Randy Savage was actually promoting his upcoming WWE action figures and video game appearances at the time of his death. Yet at the Hall of Fame Induction prior to WrestleMania XXVIII, the first after his death, he wasn’t included. Almost instantly, conspiracy theories exploded.

Was Macho Man Randy Savage being denied a shrine because he took the Slim Jim commercial deal to WCW with him? Did Savage refuse to be inducted over the WWF’s “Nacho Man” parody of him? Or was it because of the most bizarre, and therefore most popular, conspiracy: that Vince caught Savage trying to hit on a then-teenage Stephanie McMahon?

Savage’s brother, “Leapin'” Lanny Poffo alleged that the Macho Man only wanted to be inducted if Lanny and their late father, Angelo Poffo, could also be included. Since Lanny is only vaguely remembered for his short stint as the poetic Genius, and hardly anybody remembers Angelo’s Poffo’s ICW promotion, the induction was a no-go.

Vince refused the request, just as Elizabeth Ann Huelette’s family refuse to allow her to be inducted. They feel the wrestling industry killed her (she died in 2003 after an accidental drug and alcohol overdose). As the only surviving immediate family members, Lanny and the Huelettes get to make the call. Lanny finally decided to allow only his brother in.

Savage’s longtime frienemy Hulk Hogan is inducting Savage in the Hall, which loads yet another conspiracy regarding their association at Savage’s death. Meanwhile, fans and non-fans are all celebrating the career of one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

If Hulk Hogan was what kids wanted to be, then Macho Man Randy Savage was who many of us knew we ultimately were. Intense, talented, but too insecure to appreciate what we could do in full.