Volume Four, Chapter Eleven: The Jenner Saga- Proof That America Is Doing Quite Alright

William Bruce Jenner was an Olympic athlete, sports commentator, and actor. He was best known for starring in the Keeping Up with the Kardashians reality show. Recently, Mr. Jenner all but disappeared. His achievements are on the public record, but the man himself no longer exists.

Jenner’s final act is what the media and lots of people are calling heroic and courageous. He didn’t give competing against the world’s greatest athletes another shot. He didn’t look for cars submerged in the Texas floods to rescue people from, either. Bruce Jenner, at 65, decided to live the rest of his life as a woman named Caitlyn.

As such, the former Bruce Jenner has decided to brave the single greatest fear imaginable. Caitlyn will now rock stilettos in public at the risk of people possibly laughing or saying something unflattering. There it is. Somebody might “judge” Caitlyn, and merely facing that possibility is a courageous and heroic act.

For this, the now Ms. Jenner is to receive an ESPY award for courage*, beating out an Iraq vet and a young lady basketball player who died from cancer. Hollywood stars are flooding cyberspace with their “support” (after mocking Bruce for years). And only the cruelest transphobe wouldn’t give Kris Jenner’s ex-husband props for not looking better than her.

Apparently, risking the ridicule of others in public is a heroic and courageous act. Hurt feelings is the greatest fear Americans face. America is doing quite alright if a man living as a woman is this courageous and the catalyst of yet another great and noble cause. That also means that Wal-Mart, block parties, and the mall are chock full of heroes.

*The same award was given last year to recent CFL recruit Michael Sam, who courageously told people he was gay, also heroically risking judgement and hurt feelings.